Tag: stigma

Niko Hathaway

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

Over the course of my life, I’ve dealt with significant and at many times severely debilitating symptoms of social and generalized anxiety disorder, bipolar type II (frequent and persistent severe clinical depression with occasional hypomanic episodes), as well as ADD. The diagnoses are all interrelated, and in my eyes, symptoms of being a Highly Sensitive Person.

Moving through life with this much neurodiversity without an understanding of what is actually causing so much stress can bring a person to their breaking point—especially in a society that is not designed to recognize and support the gifts that people like myself bring.

I wasn’t raised to talk about mental health. My depression started as early as the third grade from what I remember. I recognized early on that I was different, and my way of “being” in the world didn’t fit the typical mold. Feeling I would be cast out or looked down upon, basically “in danger,” I forced myself to do the things that were expected hallmarks to success—work hard in school, college, and grad school, and go into a high-paying career in a field that helped people.

In college, my dreams were to be a director/producer for music videos, but I was told it was too hard to make it in creative videography. I ended up working as a production assistant for TV news, and when I saw the distortion in “the news,” I became disillusioned. I was encouraged to pursue a job in healthcare to make an impact in the world. I got into a competitive graduate program but realized early on I did not feel passionate about this career. I listened to everyone else instead of my heart. I developed many unhealthy coping mechanisms like an eating disorder and a massive substance abuse problem with alcohol, as well as other addictions, to cope with the pain of deserting myself. I had abandoned myself to become what I was told was safe and expected.

The repression of my truth and use of harmful coping mechanisms to deal with this repression led to symptoms and diagnosis of major mental illness. To add fuel to the fire, as a highly sensitive, deeply empathic person who did not know herself, I was drawn to imbalanced romantic partnerships where the focus was on meeting the emotional needs of the other at the expense of valuing myself or even being visible.

 

 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

The journey to understanding the events that cause the appearance of groups of symptoms that we call “mental illness” was the key to overcoming the challenges I faced. This has taken a lifetime of deep introspection, counseling, life coaches, mentors, endless studying and a willingness to face the things we are taught to turn away from. I needed to do a lot of “mirrorwork” and “shadow work,” and I continue to do these practices. “Mirrorwork” is confronting the things that make us uncomfortable about others and examining why and what wounding they are reflecting to us. “Shadow work” is taking a deep look at the parts of ourselves that we hide away, are ashamed of or try to repress and instead trying to understand.

Once I worked through disillusion, programming and shame, I was able to explore the things I was interested in but was told I “should not be” when I was younger. This included deep spiritual study in world religions, the wisdom traditions, and mystical philosophies, as well as learning about how power structures work in politics, religion, banking, and capitalism and how fear is widely leveraged to build controlling narratives that make us question and doubt ourselves. Learning to question literally everything I’ve been taught and push back when things feel out of alignment has been essential to taking my power back. Really, that is the most powerful work I have done—to challenge the systems, beliefs, and values that were impressed upon me since birth so that I could access my truth vs. what I’ve been conditioned or told was my “truth.”

I haven’t had any symptoms of any of my previous diagnoses for several years now. Freeing myself from as much oppression as possible and challenging myself to do so has been my saving grace. The key was learning about myself, bucking societal norms, and making the effort to trust myself versus what was taught to me that helped me to stand up for myself and follow my own personal truth.

“Unlearning” is a life-long journey that is best started as early as possible. My resources range from psychology textbooks to lectures by spiritual thought leaders and everything in between. I would highly recommend the books Radical Self-Acceptance by Tara Brach, Belonging by Toko-Pa Turner, and Untamed by Glennon Doyle. On Instagram, I love the accounts The.Holistic.Psychologist and Toniagy. I talk about my journey and everything that has helped along the way in my podcast, Brave Never Broken with Niko Hathaway.

 

Based on your experience, how can we work to build resilience in ourselves, our loved ones, and in our communities to better face life’s challenges?

Education is the first essential step—learning what healthy thoughts and behaviors are and are not. When we are educated, we are able to recognize imbalance within ourselves and our environments. Resilience is built when we lean in to the discomfort of actually recognizing imbalance, calling ourselves on it and taking the necessary steps to create change.

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Diagnoses are simply a helpful way of identifying a cluster of symptoms. They don’t define a person.

MaKaylee Kluesner 

Note: We said we’d do 30 stories in 30 days, and we hit that goal yesterday—but we have one more we’d like to share with you. MaKaylee’s story is a good reminder that maintaining our mental health is an ongoing process, and we can strive for resilience at any stage of that journey—even, and perhaps especially, in the midst of dark days.

Thanks for finding the courage to share your story, MaKaylee. We support you in your fight.

 

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?   

When I was 13 years old, my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 cervical cancer. When I received the news that it was terminal and that I would lose my mother forever, I began to self-harm. At this time, I was also being sexually, physically, and emotionally abused. My mother passed away August 24, 2012, when I was just 14 years old.  

I was living in Florida at the time with my mother and maternal grandmother. My father lived in Sioux Falls, S.D. After only meeting him roughly four times in my life, I moved to South Dakota in 2013 to live with a person who was basically a stranger to me.  

I had already developed depression, and soon after my move to South Dakota, I developed anxiety enhanced with family conflict. I struggled with my mental health, went through many counselors before finding a good fit, experienced inpatient treatment through Avera Behavioral Health and Human Services Center, and came out of that feeling okay. This was 2014.  

After graduating high school in 2016, I once again was struggling with depression, anxiety, and self-harm. I attempted suicide in 2017 and in 2018. I got in touch with my family doctor and was referred to a psychiatrist. We spent two years trying multiple medications and doses. In March of 2018, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. This illness has been the hardest to overcome. My psychiatrist informed me about DBT, or dialectical behavior therapy. I finally reached out to the therapist that my psychiatrist referred me to in July 2021. As I begin this journey with DBT, I still find myself struggling immensely. My most recent suicide attempt was September 19, 2021. Suicidal thoughts trouble me almost daily, but I am still resilient as ever and pick myself up every morning ready to fight these diseases that try so hard to overcome me. 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?  

Avera Behavioral Health was my first experience of aid. They provided resources on how to help with my self-harming behaviors, and cognitive behavioral therapy resources to help with my depression and anxiety. When that wasn’t enough, HSC was my next best help. In HSC, we had groups for everything: depression, anger, grief & loss, resiliency, and even a survivors group for those who had experienced abuse. I have also had a tremendous amount of help through American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and Sanford Psychiatry & Psychology Clinic. Being in touch with people who want to help me and fight this disease has been the greatest success for me. 

 

Based on your experience, how can we work to build resilience in ourselves, our loved ones, and in our communities to better face life’s challenges? 

The greatest challenge in my opinion is believing in yourself. When mental illness darkens your world, it can be hard to feel worth living and hopeful for a better future. I found my greatest strength to be resilience. Speak up to those around you so they can celebrate your successes with you. The words “I’m proud of you” and “You are so strong and courageous” go so far in helping those of us who struggle with mental illness find our resiliency. As a community, getting involved with organizations that help fight against this disease can also help those of us who struggle find HOPE. 

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand? 

Not everyone’s story is the same. Mental illness is so complex. Also understanding that it is REAL, just as any physical disease, and that it’s okay to speak up about it. Too many people face these challenges in the dark because they are afraid of speaking up because of the stigma behind it. We NEED to lose the stigma. 

Zach Koterwski-Tate

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?   

I’ve learned resiliency in my mental health journey by treating my depression and anxiety like I would any other illness. Destigmatization was half of the battle for me. 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?  

Medication, creative outlets, community support, therapy 

 

Based on your experience, how can we work to build resilience in ourselves, our loved ones, and in our communities to better face life’s challenges? 

We have to communicate openly and honestly about what we’re feeling in order to diagnose the root causes of our mental health struggles. 

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand? 

There is never any shame in asking for help.